Day 48: This Is the Way I Live-Baby Boy Da Prince

Oh hi, Mark. Oh hi, doggy. Oh hi, reader. Oh, hi!

I'm eating well on campus these days. The Caf never disappoints and the bag lunches aren't too shabby. So why then did I just consume half moldy baked beens with dill chips, frozen butter and too soft bread? Because I won't sacrifice creativity for the truly appetizing. Yes, I am now too full for a nutritious and tasty meal in the cafeteria and yes my stomach does hurt a little bit, but no matter! I'm glad I did it. I'll do it again. Yeah.

So cars. What's up with those guys, huh? Lots of people got 'em, lots of people want 'em? What up with that? I have one, and it's an asshole. It nearly killed me last weekend when it dove headfirst into a ditch. It's trying to kill me. Machine shitbiscuit fasdkfa sdf... anyway. Wop! Just thought of something for any of you that live in a major city such as NYC or LA or Hollywood. I dare you to go celebrity hunting-- Celeb Hunting. Nothing violent please. And no pictures necessary. Just capture and release. Tag them if you can. Ok, back to cars. I think that if I could design my own car and really trust it, that could be really great. I think it would have the interior of a fancy sports audi and the body of some really expensive remote control car like this one:

That's all I've got so far but I think it's a pretty great start.

Song of the Day: This is the Way I Live by Baby Boy Da Prince

"Peter, you're twelve years old. I'm ten. They have a word for people our age. They call us children and they treat us like mice." Valentine

Day 47: The Escapist-Coldplay

You know that feeling in the second that you jump, when all of the anticipation and fear collides with the blinking realization that your body has betrayed the more reasonable parts of your mind? That moment when you become aware that you have jumped but have not yet become aware that you will as law dictates, fall. All anticipation, dread, and expectation yield, in that moment, to the mind and its time for awareness--for consciousness. The body respects the minds need to process, to understand. And when it does, the mind becomes bashful once again. ***

I find it curious that often times we fear the fall itself rather than its conclusion. When I was a little girl I could swim for hours and hours in one place, treading water. I would do this while I watched a line of people climb to the top of a very tall diving board at a lake near my house. I can't say exactly how many feet high it was, only that it was quite tall and impressive to behold, even from the neighboring road.

I came to relish watching person after person climb slowly up the green ladder before taking the jump. For several summers I was content treading water with an occasional trip to the platform where the high board was stationed. I watched from the platform, bodies drop from above, and imagined myself deep below the water after falling from such a height. One day, without much conviction at all, I began to ascend the steps of that tall board. The steps were wet and cold. I gripped the edges with hands and feet feeling the rust under my palms. I was scared and self conscious. I felt small and tired standing over everyone. When my eyes reached the top I could not remember all the times I had watched others jump. The memories seemed ancient and filmy. Or anyway, it didn't seem to be the same place nor the same time. I did not, could not recognize the board. It was then a true disappointment to me. And I nearly cried at what I understood to be a great deception. In my desperation and fear I clung to the railings on each side of me and pushed myself forward, towards the edge. I curled my big toe over the edge and watched it blanch in protest. I know that I never feared the moment I would make contact with the water. I hoped the moment would come quickly. No, what I most feared was the descent--the sensation and the complete helplessness of it. Before I had finished playing with this fear I felt my mind tug and my arms release. Only after the instant did I remember my own decision. My feet scrunched and my chest launched forward.

What have I done It's done I've done it

Song of the Day: The Escapist by Coldplay

"Master Yoda says I should be mindful of the future." Obi-Wan

"Not at the expense of the moment." Qui-Gon Jinn

Day 46: These Arms of Mine-Otis Redding

It is a new year, a new semester, and a new beginning for Calebot's Blog. Inundated by self-inflicted pressure, never quite felt before, I write to you, whoever you are, again. Still, old friends, new friends, almost strangers, and pen-pals I welcome you back with an excitement that I have scarcely felt since my last postings. Despite brief pangs of guilt at what I fear must seem: a college girl's self-glorification, I cannot help but delight at the thought of entertaining you, dear reader. If you are new to following this blog, let me say: Welcome, Hello! For those of you who have read this blog before and have been bothered by my absence, for those who despair at the fact that my capricious wanderings have gone untold for nearly 6 months, I humbly ask for your forgiveness. I was absent without leave, and I beg your pardon sincerely. I was wrong to think for even a moment that I should be able to stop documenting the undeniably trivial episodes of my life without severe consequences. In fact, let me just say that every person who berated time and time again for missing a post and ultimately forgoing daily postings is completely justified. I was a fool.

Now that I have apologized for my egregious fouls of months past let us begin anew and continue together towards a brighter future.

What can I tell you? I can tell you that this semester is going to be a stimulating one. I can't say what exactly is to come but I can assure you that I will have have a thing or two of interest to document. I am generally opposed to reading peoples goals and aspirations but I will make an exception for myself. I aspire to take my independence by the waste this semester. You may recall that I made my own declaration of Independence in a previous posting. I intend to declare my independence all over campus for the next 3 months. You may laugh, but it is not folly! I plan on adventure this semester. I realize that the real world looms ominously at graduation and I fear the responsibility that comes with it. I am in my prime. Two decades of life and now I'm really living.

Song of the day: These Arms of Mine by Otis Redding a true king.

"It's 6:03, and the heirs to my dominion are scrubbed and tubbed, and added, quickly fed. And so i'll pat them on the head, and send them off to bed. Ah, lordly is the life I lead!

Winifred, where are the children?" Mr. Banks