Let me preface this tirade by saying that I have already resolved to turn this day around. I am quite convinced that I will be able to find some excitement or at the very least, create some. That being said, today I made it to a totally new, previously undiscovered level of my favorite game; 'Jesus, You're Lame!" (For those of you who appreciate a good rhyme I hope that was not lost on you.) I knew that today would be promising in view of the fact that I woke up at least a dozen times over the course of last night and had 3 outrageous nightmares. While driving to Northfield--easily the most exciting city in Minnesota--at 6:30 in the morning, I somehow managed to remember in vivid detail all of the awkward nuances of my interview at the law firm I desperately hope to intern at this summer and next year. I particularly enjoyed reliving the moment when I told the owner of the practice to "have an AWESOME weekend," with far too much enthusiasm. I am sure that he was dazzled by my impressive and professional vocabulary. In fact, if I recall correctly, I used the word 'awesome' three times in the span of the 20 minute interview. Considering that I rarely, if ever, use the word awesome, I am more than impressed with myself for choosing that audience to "test it out." At approximately 7:30am I arrived at St. Olaf College with an exceptionally full bladder. Consequently, I decided to run from the parking lot to the front doors of the commons building and from the front doors of the commons building to the stairs. I then proceeded to run up the stairs which was, as it turns out, not a great idea. Luckily there happened to be at least 30 people watching me as I tripped and fell flat on my face. If I had been badly injured I would have undoubtedly received speedy assistance. After yet another enchanting 8 am PSCI 287 'Leadership and Ambition' class-- which never fails to provide harsh perspective on how painfully insignificant my life has been thus far, I returned to the tenth floor of Mohn Tower. For several hours I tried unsuccessfully to nap. At 11:30 I made my way up to the cafeteria with my books and assignments for company. I thought my luck was beginning to turn around when I saw the chicken cheese fajitas. I loaded up my tray with veggies to balance out my Mexican fave and found a cosy table for two by the window. As I plowed through my assigned reading and expired lettuce I began to anticipate the deliciousness of my treasured fajita. Naturally I was saving it for last as both a miniature 'day booster' and a reward for eating my vegetables. The first bite was as much of a surprise as it was a disappointment and a perfect example of how looks can be so very deceiving. The putrid taste was nothing less than devastating. I heard my phone vibrate as I let the fetid fajitta fall from my fingers. I had received my first text message of the day (discounting the ones from my mom). It read "Hey, how is your day going so far?" I shall refrain from commenting on what this did for my already horrifying state of mind. After responding briefly, I turned back to my list of assignments. I was hardly shocked to find that the next item of business was a short writing assignment that instructed me to "Create your own epitaph." I think it only appropriate to end on this sad note.
Here lies
Caleigh Maureen Kimberley
Adoring statesman and Explorer of the high seas
Died tragically while saving a beloved coral reef off the coast of queensland.
She will be missed.
1991-2010
Song of the Day : Come Fly With Me by Frank Sinatra
"I could break out, of course but what a waste of time, and frankly I can think of a whole host of things I'd rather be doing." APWBD
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