Day 16 : Green Light-Beyonce

You know those days when you wake up, get out of bed and you just feel sassy? You put on a snazzy outfit and walk with a swagger. Sometimes you put on your headphones and walk around to a jazzy beat. You feel spicy and poised. You might say to yourself 'Imma shake things up today' or 'This city is mine." We all know that feeling--because it's great. Today was not one of those days. Firstly, I failed to take a shower until well into the day and when I finally did I decided that it would be a good idea to put my pajamas back on. I guess I didn't feel it necessary to comb my hair or put on even the slightest bit of make-up--something my brother and dad were quick to point out. I met one of my dad's ex wives in this state, which was a real treat. In all fairness, she was a perfectly sweet woman. Although this only made me more aware of my own foul mood and bitterness. I suspect she probably felt relief, at the sight of me, that she did not (at least to my knowledge) procreate with Barry. I was more than willing to play the part of 'grouchy older sister' when my brother's friends came to visit and over the course of the day I successfully consumed the recommended calorie count for a small adult elephant. There was one good thing that came of this otherwise pathetic day. I found a 'calling' for my later (much later years). I decided that if and when I grow to be an old old woman I will select 3 people, preferably in their 20s, to be really great to. I will give them worldly advice and they will think me a hip old thing. We'll drink and play cards together and I will fascinate and shock even them with all of the scandalous stories of my youth. The rest of human population will not receive such happy treatment. In fact, I will make it my business to be as unpleasant to everyone as I find possible and convenient. I will sit on my front porch at all hours of the day and some nights yelling obscenities, scaring children and small dogs, throwing golf balls at walkers and shooting bb's at joggers. I'm confident that I will be extremely content with this arrangement.

Song of the Day : This song is exceedingly 'sassy'. I wish I had played it when I woke this morn. Perhaps then I wouldn't have brownie stains on my face and last night's pajamas. Green Light by Beyonce.

"I believe your friends Misters Fred and George Weasley were responsible for trying to send you a toilet seat. No doubt they thought it would amuse you." APWBD